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    雅思大作文中常见的逻辑错误
    2018-03-26 14:04:16      来自: 重庆环球教育学校      点击: 719

      雅思大作文中常见的逻辑错误!写作文关键是逻辑和语言两个层面。逻辑是宏观框架,语法和词汇是微观结构。一个学生应该先学会如何做到“一针见血”地扣题论证,没有宏观扣题,只想通过堆砌句型和词汇很难考到理想的分数。今天咱们说说写作逻辑问题!

    重庆环球教育

      Writing Time——雅思写作填坑攻略

      常见的逻辑错误在题目和段落扩展中都有出现~

      01 审题逻辑错误-未抓准题眼

      下面这个题目,常见的跑题观点有:“reading books可以增加知识”、“看书可以开拓视野”、“TV和Internet上有的知识更多”。

      T1: Some people think reading books is more useful in developing young people’s languages skills and imagination than watching TV and surfing the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

      为什么这些观点是跑题的呢?

      因为这写观点丝毫没有提及“language skills and imagination”这个“目标关键词(goal keywords)”。目标关键词是主题关键词在题中执行的动作或者产生的效果,所以目标关键词是一个题目的“题眼”。一旦偏离“题眼”,必定下笔千言,离题万里。

      再来对比下面这道题目:

      T2: Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching television or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

      在这个题目中,并未出现“language skills and imagination”这个明显的关键词,只出现了一个“better than”,限定条件更少,所以可以写更多的观点。但是这个题目对主题关键词有限定,因为这个题目讲到的是“reading stories”。

      02 审题逻辑错误-单词误事

      关键词汇的领悟错误,会导致整个题目的崩塌。那么由于词汇量的限制导致跑题的场景也很多。如下,很多同学qualification理解为“品质quality”,于是......

      T3: Nowadays, it is widely accepted that social skills are as important as good qualifications for success in a job. Do you agree or disagree?(x/y并列型)

      题目里“national identities文化身份感”这个词汇很多同学不认识,所以写成其他的自己猜测的意思,然后跑题的情况也很多。比如说,有个学生考完后告诉我说“national identities”他猜测是“国家机密”,那么肯定要跑题。

      T4: Some people regard the increasing business and cultural contact between countries as a positive development. Others, However, feel these leading to loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

      03 段落拓展中逻辑错误的情况

      这类情况比较复杂,结合下面这个例子,大家可以自己思考一下~

      T5: Some people think governments should focus the spending only on public services rather than wasting money on arts (music, printing, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

      由于本题目是一种很多特点的题型,文章的论证应该结合一个正确的思路模板。

      x/y选择型的基本模板

      开头: I totally disagree with the viewpoint that…, because I believe X and Y are equally important.

      主体1: There is no doubt that X is of great importance/significance.

      主体2: However, I believe Y is equally important.

      First of all,__. Furthermore,__.

      结尾: In conclusion, although the significance of X cannot be ignored, I believe Y is of equal importance.

      于是,案例出现了:

      学生版本1:偷换概念,隔山打牛

      There is no doubt that public services are of great significance. First and foremost, human development1 relies on public services that a country can provide. For instance, if a country was not able to provide general compulsory education2, which plays a vital role in public services, people in this country would not lead a life as good as others living in those countries that have the ability to provide this. What’s more3, public services are of significance to the satisfactory of members of society to a great extent. Only if a country has perfect public services, such as excellent education system, well-maintained medical system, wonderful transport system and stuff like that, can people living there reach a high level of happiness.

      错误点评错误01观点空大泛

      文章写到了“human development”,这个空大泛的观点,由于观点太大,他后文的任何一个观点都会被此观点囊括,进而会出现观点的“交叉重复”。

      错误02偷换概念“隔山打牛”

      偷换概念的逻辑是:“义务教育”是“公共服务”的重要部分,所以提供了“education”,社会就会进步。所以此处已变成论证“义务教育”而不是直接论证“public services”。

      错误03前文重复

      前面“human development”,然后他又再次写出一个空泛的观点“social satisfactory民众对社会的满意”,所以最终两个观点“既空泛又重复”。

      学生版本2:以举例代替说理

      Another example to back up my belief is the development of art could improve some other industry like tourism and economy. For example, if governments pay more money on art galleries, which might attract more tourists such as the Louvre Museum in France. In addition, Japan is famous for its cartoon which is an important part of art, so that the Japanese government invests much funds to cartoon’s making and encourage cartoonists. Nowadays, cartoon plays a very significant role in Japanese economy.

      错误点评错误01以举例代替说理

      议论文是“以理服人”,例子辅助解释,做到“有理有据”。这位同学本来通过“Louvre Museum”的例子说明“政府投资艺术的必要性”很有效,但可惜没论证。

      而他的做法是在“In addition”之后又写了一个Japan的例子,导致出现多重逻辑错误,堆砌例子忽略说理。

      错误02未能先“有理”后“有据”

      在第二个逻辑部分中,此同学是想表达的是:cartoon之于Japan,正如罗浮宫之于法国,那么就应该在“in addition”说,art can boost economy这个观点. 然而这个同学转到日本的卡通很出名,以一个例子“喧宾夺主”。

      议论文正确的论证逻辑是:先有观点,再写例子;即:先“有理”后“有据”。

      举例论证是很常见的论证方法,但切记“大量举例不说明”,否则就会将核心“本末倒置”。

      由于篇幅问题,文中的语法错误不再列举~

      最后分享一篇Adam吴老师的范文:

      雅思大作文范文赏析

      Despite the undeniable importance of the general public services mentioned, it would be unreasonable and undesirable for the state to allot its financial budgets disproportionately, with one sector overwhelmingly outweighing another. (此句承接上文) From my perspective, the fiscal appropriation in art and recreation is by no means a waste of money; on the contrary, it is equally crucial to meet the public need as well as boost the local economy.(此句为“启下”的过渡句,并作为下一段的主题句)

      Art and culture, including music, theatre and opera, can be a historical tradition in various countries. The West End theatre of London, comparable with the Broadway theatre in New York City, is a good case in point. Not only does the West End theatre reflect the history and culture of the United Kingdom, it also serves as a landmark of Central London, therefore becoming the national treasure of the proud British. (使用了美国百老汇和英国伦敦西区剧院的例子,去论证“艺术是一个国家的文化传统”的论点。)More importantly, both the West End theatre and the Broadway theatre are major tourists attractions, offering entertainments for local Londoners and New Yorkers and earning remarkable revenue from oversea visitors. Hence, governmental funding in art and theatre would be paid off.(通过最后一句照应题目“政府应该重视art”收束全文,同时与本段主题句遥相呼应,乃本文画龙点睛之笔。)

     

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